Growing up

Well, it's been really, really warm here in London lately, and sunny, which is like... amazing! On Wednesday I went to a home-ed picnic, which was basically something organised by the council for families who homeschool to get together at a local park. It was mostly little kids who went there though, so I didn't get much of a chance to talk to anyone, though I did hang out a bit with a twelve-year-old boy. We did a couple of races. I felt like a kid again, to be honest - I'd forgotten what it was like to have someone ask you "hey do you wanna race" and to answer "sure" before streaking out over an open field in wild abandon... I've missed it. I miss being a kid, everything was so much simpler back then! I don't want to grow up... growing up sucks.

Seriously, sometimes I can't believe I'm already fifteen. I'm like... how did that happen?? When exactly did I grow up that much? I don't feel that old! I'm still a kid! I still live in my own little world of made up stories, I still find fantasy worlds more interesting than real life. I mean, recently I've been thinking about my life more, such as thinking about what exams I want to take and what I want to do when I'm older, but all that still gets pushed to the back of my mind as soon as I have another "awesome" idea for a story... my stories take priority over the rest of my life, that's just the way it's always been and maybe it always will be like that, I dunno.

I just sometimes feel so young compared to others my age. I mean, pretty much every girl I know is into make-up and fashion and all that, things I find a total waste of time. And I know loads of fifteen-year-olds are already into dating and stuff - one of my best friends already has two ex-boyfriends and she's a year younger than me! Meanwhile I'm still that girl who wants to puke whenever something romantic is involved. And there's kids my age who go out partying with friends at night - something else which I can't imagine myself doing for a few years, at least. If ever. (I'm not a fan of parties, sue me.) (God, I've just realised what a freaking hermit I am.)

I think my problem (if it is a problem) is that I don't take things seriously enough. I refuse to acknowledge that I'm growing up and need to start thinking about more serious stuff, so instead I bury myself into my own little fantasy world. But you know what? I don't think that's such a bad thing, not yet. I guess this will change as I get older, and I'm not in any rush to grow up.


On an unrelated subject, I've recently been reading Dune by Frank Herbert and it. Is. Freaking. Awesome. Seriously. I'm loving it so far. Definitely reviewing it once I've finished reading it, though it's about a gazillion pages long so it'll probably take me a while to finish.

Till next time,



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